There were several unfortunate incidents in which Dallas police had to escort inebriated (drunk) IRS managers back to their hotels. |
Former IRS branch chiefs were found to excel at the hotel "Limbo" contest. "It's because the sons-of-bitches don't have spines," grumbled one bitter union guy. |
On the second day, the commissioner, having donned native dress, introduced some Horse's Ass from the Human Resources Department to the assembly. |
One thing which annoyed union officials was the little robot that followed Rossotti around the room. If an NTEU person got closer than 15 feet to the Commissioner the robot began screaming "WARNING, CHARLES ROSSOTTI WARNING--DANGER, DANGER." |
Anyway, the Horse's Ass from Human Resources showed a sample of a planned campaign to boost employee morale by telling them of jobs which are even worse (allegedly) than working for the IRS. The photo below received widespread applause. |
Next up was a spokesman from Personnel who sadly explained that the IRS has had trouble recruiting, even among very young workers. |
Personnel demonstrated a new workstation which they swear will improve productivity. After angry demonstrations, a union proposal was adopted to install the computer's hard drive directly in the toilet. |
Next up was the presentation from Labor Relations on new disciplinary techniques. |
LR also demonstrated a sure fire technique to make certain that managers do not accidentally hear any unpleasant facts during a grievance meeting. |
LR further electrified the crowd with a newly approved means for ridding themselves of pesky union people. |
A crisis was averted when a crack team of Information Services people was able to change the battery in Rossotti's beeper. |
The conference ended with the Commissioner and Deputy Commissioner showing a video of themselves gazing confidently ahead and giving the new SB/SE "Salute." Most NTEU people elected to give an Italian Salute, instead. |
The IRS unveiled a new employee uniform. NTEU proposed putting a "star" on the chest. The first management design used a "bulls-eye." |
IRS announced that Boos-Allen had spent $375 million dollars to genetically engineer a Super Chicken. The Boozers felt that without an enhanced chicken there would be a chickenshit shortage which might stop the Re-Organization in its tracks. |
It is true that they do everything 'big' in Texas... |
and some managers did try to take advantage of being away from home..... |